A different kind of neighbor problem

[Suzie-Q]

My neighbor occasionally parks his car in front of my house. It usually doesn't stay there for long -- maybe a few hours. But as of today he has had his car parked in front of my house for three or four days.

Now, I know the street is public and that anyone can sort of park anywhere (with limits). But besides just not wanting to look out my window and see his car (an old but nicely maintained VW bug), two things are happening. He's making it very difficult for the letter carrier to get to my mailbox. I'm sure she has to get out of her car to put mail in my box. Second, he's making it difficult for the elderly woman across the street to back out of her driveway. She's worried that she'll hit his car.

I get along with this neighbor just fine but am worried about my approach should I initiate a conversation. I don't want to come across as angry and destroy a good relationship.

Any suggestions?

 

[LB]

My neighbor occasionally parks his car in front of my house. It usually doesn't stay there for long -- maybe a few hours. But as of today he has had his car parked in front of my house for three or four days.

Now, I know the street is public and that anyone can sort of park anywhere (with limits). But besides just not wanting to look out my window and see his car (an old but nicely maintained VW bug), two things are happening. He's making it very difficult for the letter carrier to get to my mailbox. I'm sure she has to get out of her car to put mail in my box. Second, he's making it difficult for the elderly woman across the street to back out of her driveway. She's worried that she'll hit his car.

I get along with this neighbor just fine but am worried about my approach should I initiate a conversation. I don't want to come across as angry and destroy a good relationship.

Any suggestions?

Tell the neighbor what you've told us. Or, better yet, _ask_ in a nice way why the car has been there for a while while pointing out the problems it is causing. Start friendly and assume nothing.

LB

 

[Chris Lewis]

I get along with this neighbor just fine but am worried about my approach should I initiate a conversation. I don't want to come across as angry and destroy a good relationship.

Any suggestions?

Say that the mail delivery person complained ;-)

In that way you get the blame put on someone other than yourself or the lady across the street, and it's easy to avoid being angry in such a conversation.

 

[Lawrence Wasserman]

Can you tell your neighbor that you are going to mow your lawn, or run a weed wacker, or paint the mailbox, or something, and you don't want to accidentally get any dirt/paint/etc. on his car?

 

[CL (dnoyeB) Gilbert]

My neighbor occasionally parks his car in front of my house. It usually doesn't stay there for long -- maybe a few hours. But as of today he has had his car parked in front of my house for three or four days.

Now, I know the street is public and that anyone can sort of park anywhere (with limits). But besides just not wanting to look out my window and see his car (an old but nicely maintained VW bug), two things are happening. He's making it very difficult for the letter carrier to get to my mailbox. I'm sure she has to get out of her car to put mail in my box. Second, he's making it difficult for the elderly woman across the street to back out of her driveway. She's worried that she'll hit his car.

I get along with this neighbor just fine but am worried about my approach should I initiate a conversation. I don't want to come across as angry and destroy a good relationship.

Any suggestions?

Do you have any idea of his reasons for doing this?

 

[Edwin Pawlowski]

My neighbor occasionally parks his car in front of my house. It usually doesn't stay there for long -- maybe a few hours. But as of today he has had his car parked in front of my house for three or four days.

Perfectly legal in most places.

Now, I know the street is public and that anyone can sort of park anywhere (with limits).

What are those limits? If the car is registered and legal, most towns allow you to park it on the street forever. Maybe the neighbor takes it out for a ride during the night while you sleep.

He's making it very difficult
for the letter carrier to get to my mailbox. I'm sure she has to get out of her car to put mail in my box. Second, he's making it difficult for the elderly woman across the street to back out of her driveway. She's worried that she'll hit his car.

Now these may be legitimate complaints. I don't know the law about obstructing a mailbox, but the carrier does not have to deliver if the mailbox is obstructed. You could mention these concerns to the neighbor andhe may neve park there again so it does not get hit by the lady across the street. Problem solved.

I get along with this neighbor just fine but am worried about my approach should I initiate a conversation. I don't want to come across as angry and destroy a good relationship.

Anyone that promotes a web site dedicated to male bashing does come across as angry and has not had good relationships.

 

[badgolferman]

Suzie-Q, 6/21/2005, 9:28:05 AM,

My neighbor occasionally parks his car in front of my house. It usually doesn't stay there for long -- maybe a few hours. But as of today he has had his car parked in front of my house for three or four days.

Now, I know the street is public and that anyone can sort of park anywhere (with limits). But besides just not wanting to look out my window and see his car (an old but nicely maintained VW bug), two things are happening. He's making it very difficult for the letter carrier to get to my mailbox. I'm sure she has to get out of her car to put mail in my box. Second, he's making it difficult for the elderly woman across the street to back out of her driveway. She's worried that she'll hit his car.

I get along with this neighbor just fine but am worried about my approach should I initiate a conversation. I don't want to come across as angry and destroy a good relationship.

Any suggestions?

Surely you don't need our advice on how to approach a friend. You are an adult, no?

 

[Sacramento Dave]

I had the exact same problem I will go a step further they had some furniture delivered and both there cars were in my driveway. They did move the cars when I came home. These are also a good neighbors and friends for 12 years, but it still annoys you when they park in front of your house ( this is also across the street). This is what worked for me I started parking in front their house and would leave my vehicle there for the weekend even. This worked, didn't take that long, never anything said about it and still friends. But I never could figure out why he started parking his car in front of my house.

 

[G Henslee]

Perfectly legal in most places.

What are those limits? If the car is registered and legal, most towns allow you to park it on the street forever. Maybe the neighbor takes it out for a ride during the night while you sleep.

Actually many cities have time limits for vehicles parked on public streets. Like 72 hours for instance.

 

[SteveB]

My neighbor occasionally parks his car in front of my house. It usually doesn't stay there for long -- maybe a few hours. But as of today he has had his car parked in front of my house for three or four days.

Now, I know the street is public and that anyone can sort of park anywhere (with limits). But besides just not wanting to look out my window and see his car (an old but nicely maintained VW bug), two things are happening. He's making it very difficult for the letter carrier to get to my mailbox. I'm sure she has to get out of her car to put mail in my box. Second, he's making it difficult for the elderly woman across the street to back out of her driveway. She's worried that she'll hit his car.

I get along with this neighbor just fine but am worried about my approach should I initiate a conversation. I don't want to come across as angry and destroy a good relationship.

Any suggestions?

Don't do anything but be direct. Just say, "I value you as a neighbor. I think you would help me in most any situation."

And then proceed to ask if he would please not leave the car there because it causes problems with the mailman and the elderly lady. Say you are concerned that the elderly lady or the mailman might damage his classic car. You might even stretch it a bit and say that you have seen them come close on a couple of occasions. It wouldn't be much of a stretch, if they're anything like my mailman or elderly neighbor.

Chances are, you will get what you want and still keep the good relationship.

Don't be evasive and put the blame on someone else. Children do that. Adults go straight to the problem, approach it politely, and stay to the facts.

If he is an adult, he will respond positively.

If he isn't, it will just be a matter of time before the car gets damaged, and you will have been the one who said it might happen.

Steve

 

[Mortimer Schnerd RN]

Say that the mail delivery person complained ;-)

In that way you get the blame put on someone other than yourself or the lady across the street, and it's easy to avoid being angry in such a conversation.

If that doesn't work, spread a very few roofing nails where he parks in front of your house. He won't want to park there if his tires go flat every time he does so. You can blame *that* on neighborhood kids.

 

[ds549]

if you talk to him in a nice way about it , he will probably be glad to move it. you know,, waving to your neighbors keeps things freindly to i think. lucas

 

[G Henslee]

if you talk to him in a nice way about it , he will probably be glad to move it. you know,, waving to your neighbors keeps things freindly to i think. lucas

Please be aware that you can quote with webtv. Yes, you can make it act like a real newsreader.

 

[dean (archive)]

Say something like: "You're like the nicest neighbor I've ever had, and the smartest, so I can't figure out why you always park right there, is there some reason?"

Always throw in more positive than neg and it will be fine.

Dean

 

[Vic Dura]

Actually many cities have time limits for vehicles parked on public streets. Like 72 hours for instance.

Some cities also prohibit *any* vehicle from being parked on the street "overnight" (e.g. between 3am and 6am) without a permit. Pasadena CA was like that 30 years ago. I don't know if it still is.

 

[BocesLib]

If all this friendly action fails, ask again holding a
can of gasoline and a lighter.

Did anyone even ask if he has currently ANYTHING parked in front of his own home???

I had a similar problem with my neighbor, she LOVES parking her car in front of my house (not really much of an issue) but her car is a real piece of sh*t and leaks worse than the EXXON Valdez. You havent seen oil slicks from a car until you've seen this one.

In any case instead of directly confronting her, I simply started parking my own cars in the street. (I have three) Slowly I started inching my way back and sure enough, she knows that I park my cars now in front of my home and she parks hers in front of hers. (mind you my neighbor didnt even park EVER in their own driveway)

She's as friendly as ever and didnt even have to directly confront her about it. Once in awhile she's back only because the landscapers come and park directly in front of her own home. No biggie with that.
Later on she moves it back.

Tom

 

[Jim Yanik]

My neighbor occasionally parks his car in front of my house. It usually doesn't stay there for long -- maybe a few hours. But as of today he has had his car parked in front of my house for three or four days.

Now, I know the street is public and that anyone can sort of park anywhere (with limits). But besides just not wanting to look out my window and see his car (an old but nicely maintained VW bug), two things are happening. He's making it very difficult for the letter carrier to get to my mailbox. I'm sure she has to get out of her car to put mail in my box. Second, he's making it difficult for the elderly woman across the street to back out of her driveway. She's worried that she'll hit his car.

I get along with this neighbor just fine but am worried about my approach should I initiate a conversation. I don't want to come across as angry and destroy a good relationship.

Any suggestions?

If it is interfering with the mail carrier's duties,they will put a note on the vehicle,or request a police officer put a warning or ticket on the vehicle.

 

[Jim Yanik]

If that doesn't work, spread a very few roofing nails where he parks in front of your house. He won't want to park there if his tires go flat every time he does so. You can blame *that* on neighborhood kids.

Nothing like someone who advocates vandalism to "solve" a problem.

 

[sharkford]

My neighbor occasionally parks his car in front of my house. It usually doesn't stay there for long -- maybe a few hours. But as of today he has had his car parked in front of my house for three or four days.

Now, I know the street is public and that anyone can sort of park anywhere (with limits). But besides just not wanting to look out my window and see his car (an old but nicely maintained VW bug), two things are happening. He's making it very difficult for the letter carrier to get to my mailbox. I'm sure she has to get out of her car to put mail in my box. Second, he's making it difficult for the elderly woman across the street to back out of her driveway. She's worried that she'll hit his car.

I get along with this neighbor just fine but am worried about my approach should I initiate a conversation. I don't want to come across as angry and destroy a good relationship.

Any suggestions?

Well, you could agitate with your local lawmakers to limit parking to a certain number of hours, or even to ban it completely on the grounds that the street is too narrow. If his parking is within the limits of current law, there really is no right way to approach him without appearing unreasonable, because your desire is inherently unreasonable. Asking someone to limit their legal use of a public resource is really out of line.

If your could articulate some concrete benefit -- like you wanted the spot for your own car, which has to be *somewhere* on the street so it might as well be there -- then you could simply ask for the favour and owe him one. Do not imagine that concern for the elderly neighbour and the letter carrier represents a real benefit; these are shams to cover up for your control needs. The Post Office is finding your mailbox just fine (hint: it's their job, and there's harder ones than yours), and if granny can't back out of her driveway without being a hazard, it's time to take her license away.

But really, Susie, you need to move to a nice controlled community, like a condo development or a homeowner's association area, where the rulemakers think like you. In fact I suspect you will find yourself welcomed into the ranks of the governing committees. Like many people, you will never be happy in a free society. After you bully your neighbour into ceasing this perfectly legal behaviour you will find something else to complain about.

The car, by the way, is a classic, a more sensible person would be tickled to see it.

S.

 

[G Henslee]

Oh please. I suspect very few of us wouldn't get a bit peeved if a neighbor decided to continually park in front of our house. What's the matter with the street in front of their house? You feel that because granny across the street has trouble backing out of her driveway because there is now a car cutting off her turning radius by 6 feet that she should be denied the privilege of driving? As opposed to the neighbor parking their car a few feet further down the road? Sheesh, community is just that, community. And finding the appropriate balance of compromises that minimizes the inconvenience the entire community suffers. In this case it's almost certainly the neighbor parking a few feet down the road.

ml

I put up with a dickhead tenant who lived next door to a previous house I owned once, who left his pos Vanagan parked there for 2-1/2 months. Reason? I had a huge old Ash tree in the parkstrip which provided excellent shade. Boxing him in with our cars didn't matter because he had no intention of moving it anyway.

After tiring of looking at his pos car out of my living room picture window I asked him one day to please move it so I could at least sweep the gutter. He gave me a ration of shit - I gave him 15 minutes to move it. He slammed his door on me.

15 minutes later a PD officer and a tow truck were 'hooking' it up and the officer was writing him a ticket. Reason? His tags were over six months expired and the pos couldn't be in the public right of way. He begged the cop to let him move it - then. The cop said no and handed him the ticket.

He had to not only pay the ticket, but also the tow, impound fee and a days storage to the tow guy, also show proof of current reg and insurance, etc. Cost him around $400.

He never parked there again and moved about a month later.